


It's Hard Being A Wingman

by Eastofthemoon



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Awkward Flirting, F/M, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Humor, Keith is the master at bad flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 04:43:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10153925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eastofthemoon/pseuds/Eastofthemoon
Summary: Lance pinched the bridge of his nose as he gave Keith an unamused look.  “Your flirting attempts are terrible, Man.”Keith blushed bright red.  “I’m not flirting!” he snapped instantly.“Yeah!  I know you aren’t!” Lance said as he rolled his eyes and poked a finger at his chest.  “THAT’S THE PROBLEM!”





	

**Author's Note:**

> Saw some friends discussing this idea the other day, and it just wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it.

Keith and Allura liked each other. It wasn't just the ‘I consider you my family’ kind of like or even the ‘we’re good friends’ kind of like. No, it was obvious to Lance they were in the ‘I have at least a crush on you, but I’m not sure what to do about it’ kind of like.

If anyone asked Lance about it, he couldn’t honestly say that he hadn't been in denial about it at first. Admitting to that Keith and Allura were attracted to each other meant admitting Keith had managed to beat him at something. Else. Something else.

But ever so slowly, he began to notice the signs. He saw the meaningful looks Allura and Keith would give each other across the room. The times when they seem to reach for each other’s hands without realizing it. How much more relaxed they just naturally seemed around each other.

Lance tried to reason it was just a result of Keith letting himself become closer to the group as a whole. Ever since Shiro vanished, Keith was gradually opening himself up to the team more and more, with Lance included.

Maybe it was due to him having to be the new leader and try to connect to everyone in order to fill the hole Shiro he left. Maybe it was just to fill in the loneliness since Keith no longer had Shiro to lean on or maybe it was just the natural development of their crazy little team.

Lance wasn’t certain, but the final nail in the coffin for him was the day they found Shiro and brought him home. They had all been so relieved, and both Hunk and Coran went all out cooking that day for a celebration dinner. 

When it came time to eat, Allura and Keith were the only ones absent and Lance himself had been sent to tell them it was time to eat. He found them in the control room. They were leaning against each other, in a manner much closer than Lance had seen either of them do. 

They had their backs to him, so he couldn’t see their expression, but they way their heads tilted against each other reminded him of a pair of nesting love birds. It was right then that he knew the truth.

Keith and Allura were slowly developing romantic feelings for each other and he spent the next few days pondering and absorbing this.

The thought did flash by Lance’s mind to try to do the stereotypical battle for the heart of the pretty girl like he always saw in his sisters' favorite romance novels. However, Lance instantly tossed the idea aside mainly for two reasons.

Reason one, Lance wasn’t an idiot. A girl wasn’t some prize to be won like a trophy. 

Reason two, it was clear as day that Allura returned Keith’s affection. They hadn’t said it officially and were still rather clumsy about going about it, but he could tell by the constant blushes and sideway glances she had stolen when she assumed no one was looking.

Lance respected Allura and her decisions, and as her friend, her stylish bestie even, he knew his role was to support her in her choices.

It had taken a lot to swallow, but Lance soon realized that when he seriously thought about it he had never expected him and Allura to become a serious couple. Sure, he had enjoyed flirting with her, she was a pretty girl, but that was more to tease and get a rise out of her. 

Besides, it did seem like the poor girl needed someone to distract her. Allura had lost her whole planet, and her father. The war could take a heavy toll on all of them, and sometimes Lance worried Allura would get lost in the stress of fighting and just staying alive day after day.  
Even if it only lasted for a few minutes, Lance liked to think his flirting helped distract Allura from that.

So, from then on, while Lance still teased Allura he made certain to back off to give Keith and Allura a chance to grow. That should be it. Nice and simple.

But dang it, why did Keith have to be so terrible at it?!

Genius at flying? Sure, his stupid rival was stupidly good! Good replacement for Shiro for taking over the leader role! Absolutely, he earned that just for shutting down Coran's crazy training suggestions! But how would Lance score Keith when it came to his flirting technique? Zero! Negative zero if such a number existed!

Lance had tried to keep his mouth shut as he watched Keith approach Allura and attempt to compliment her. The first time he heard Keith say “Your..hair is um..very poofy” took all of Lance’s energy to resist breaking down laughing.

Allura gave a polite nod and “Thank you” as Lance snickered, but it became less funny and more painful as he watched Keith try again and again. 

“You have a great throwing arm,” Keith once said.

“You’re very punctual,” he said another time and it only grew worse.

It was like watching a dog try desperately to get his stick through a door and not clueing in the dog just had to tilt the stick to the side. Keith failed each time and it each painful failure grated Lance’s nerves a bit more.

The last straw that broke his silence was the result of after a long battle on a Galra ship, and Allura had to come along. Lance gave cover fire as he watched Keith and Allura fight back to back against the incoming soldiers.

He had to admit, it was almost like they were dancing with how in sync their movement had been. It was almost as if they could read each other’s minds as they fought and predicted each other’s movement.

And what did Keith say to her after that whole mess? 

“You fight good,” Keith stammered once they were back in the castle.

Lance nearly dropped his bayard and fought against the urge to bang his head against the wall.

Allura gave an awkward smile and patted Keith’s shoulder. “You too, Keith,” she said before beginning to the loose hair out of her eyes. “I’ll go give the update to Coran and the others, while you two clean up.”

“Sure, great, fantastic,” Lance replied sourly as Keith blushed and gave a nod.

Neither of them said a word as they watched Allura leave the hangar, and it was only then Lance deemed it safe enough to let out his exasperated sigh.

“YOU FIGHT GOOD?!” he cried at Keith. “DUDE, ARE YOU SERIOUS?!”

Keith jumped slightly as he turned to Lance. “What?”

“Come on!” Lance said as he tossed his hands up in the air. “A four year old can come up with a better compliment than that!”

“What are you talking about?” Keith said as he crossed his arms. “I meant it and Allura is a good fighter.”

“Of course, she is,” Lance continued to rant as he stomped forward. “But you could have said ‘I thought you were an angel, but turn out you’re a devil too’ or ‘You’re as skilled a fighter as you are beautiful’ or just something better than that!”

Keith tilted his head. “Lance..what are you talking about?”

Lance pinched the bridge of his nose as he gave Keith an unamused look. “Your flirting attempts are terrible, Man.”

Keith blushed bright red. “I’m not flirting!” he snapped instantly.

“Yeah! I know you aren’t!” Lance said as he rolled his eyes and poked a finger at his chest. “THAT’S THE PROBLEM!”

Keith blinked dumbly and raised a confused eyebrow. “Wait..so you’re angry..because I’m bad at flirting?”

Lance clapped his hands. “Yes! Finally, mullet head gets it!”

Keith blinked. “Is..that really the only thing you’re upset about?” He rubbed his neck. “I noticed the dirty looks you’ve been tossing at me lately and thought-”

“That I was jealous of you and Allura having a thing for each other?” Lance asked.

Keith blushed bright red and in normal circumstances, Lance would have laughed, but he couldn’t. Too much of his sanity was on the line.

“Dude look, truth be told, I was a bit rattled by it at first, but I got over it,” Lance retorted. “If you and Allura have feelings for each other, then I’m going to respect that.” He placed his hands on his hips. “But dangit Keith, if you’re going to woo her would it kill you to do it properly?!”

Keith’s eyes twitched slightly as he gave her a pout. “Look..I...I know I’m bad okay, but I have no sweet clue on what I’m doing. I’ve never done this kind of thing before.”

Lance frowned as he leaned against the wall. “Have you tried talking to Shiro?”

Keith sighed as he brushed the bangs from his eyes. “He just tells me to act like myself.”

“....Yeah, because that’s clearly been going great for you,” Lance replied. “I swear, if I have to keep watching your attempts, the Galra aren’t going to have to shoot me because I’m just going to drop dead from the lameness of your flirts.” 

“You don’t have to rub it in,” Keith said as he stood next to him. “And what do you expect me to do?”

Lance gave a smirk. “Well, lucky for you, you are in the presence of the flirting master. I’ll just tell you what to say.”

He half expected Keith to scoff at the idea, but instead he fidgeted and chewed his bottom lip. “...Not saying I would...but what would I say exactly?”

Lance shut his eyes as he thought. He could just give Keith some good pickup lines, but that wouldn’t help Keith in the long run. 

As the old saying goes, you could give a man a fish and feed him for a day, or teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime. If Lance wanted to prevent any future torment of having to watch Keith’s flirting attempts, he had to get Keith to make it his own.

“What do you like about Allura?” he asked.

A thoughtful expression washed over Keith’s face. “She’s strong, kind, patient and-”

“No, no, no,” Lance said. “I mean her looks! Save the personality stuff later when you’re a bit more further along. For a beginner flirt, you should start on what about her you find beautiful.”

Keith blushed again as he rubbed his arm. “Um..she has a nice smile?”

“There you go, that's a start,” Lance encouraged. “And?”

“Um..her hair is long and soft.”

“Yeah, that works, heck of a lot better than 'poofy'.”

“And..her eyes kind of sparkle sometimes?” Keith said as he looked downward to the floor.

Lance clapped his hands. “Okay, then when you see Allura you tell her that ‘Her hair is like a dream wafting in on a moonlit cloud’.”

Keith blinked. “How does that make sense?”

“Don’t question the master,” Lance snapped. “Another good one would be “Baby, you’re so hot that if I was ice, one glance from you would make me melt’.”

Keith’s wrinkled his nose. “Isn’t that a bit much?”

Lance ignored the question as he held up a finger. “Finally, say ‘One glimpse of your smile brings more light to my life than a thousand sunrises’.”

Keith winced as if he had been forced to swallow a lemon. “Lance, there is no way I can say all of that to Allura.”

“Fine, tell me something better and I’ll leave you alone,” Lance replied.

Keith shut his mouth and rapidly tapped his foot before he gave a defeated growl. “Arrgh! No, I can’t. Against my better judgment, I’ll use yours.”

“Good, you are smart,” Lance sad as he took Keith by the arm. “Okay, let’s go get cleaned up so you look nice and fresh for when you do it.”

Keith froze with his eyes full of fear. “Wait, you want me to do that today?!”

“Uh, yeah,” Lance replied. “There’s no time like the present and I want to make sure that by our next battle, the Galra are more likely to kill me than your terrible failure to flirt properly."

Keith’s narrowed his eyes. “Well, too bad, because I’m going to wait until I’m good and ready.”

Lance twitched. _If I wait for you to be ready, I’m going to be an old man by the time you are._ Then a thought struck him and Lance gave a feral grin. He knew what to do.

“Oooh, I get it,” Lance said smugly. “You’re too scared to do it.”

Keith paused and narrowed his eyes. “What? No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you totally are,” Lance mocked. “The great Keith, Red paladin and defender of the universe, is afraid to talk to a pretty girl.”

Keith growled. “I’m not afraid of anything!”

 _Got him,_ Lance thought. _Hook, line and sinker._ “Then, prove it my man,” Lance said as he tapped his nose. “I dare you to go and flirt with Allura. Right now.” He pulled his face in closer. “Unless, that is, you’re too chicken to try.”

Keith shot him a glare and within an eyeblink he was yanking Lance by the arm. “Let’s go! I’ll show you who’s a chicken.”

“Sure thing, dude,” Lance said as he smirked and let Keith drag him.

080808080808080808080808080808080808080808080

The time and place couldn’t have been more perfect. After they had showered and gotten back into their clothes, they found Allura sitting by herself in the recreation room reading a report.

“Okay,” Lance whispered as he gripped Keith by the shoulders. “Now go in and woo her.”

“Will you please stop saying ‘woo’,” Keith hissed and blushed as he tugged at his gloves. “Also, I’m having second thoughts about this.”

Lance sighed. “No way, there’s no turning back now,” he declared as he spun Keith around and shoved him. “Go get ‘em tiger!”

Keith staggered as he entered the room and Lance ducked behind the doorway.

“Oh, hello, Keith,” Lance heard Allura say as he made certain to stay still.

“Um...hi,” Keith replied as Lance heard him approach. “Can I,um, sit here..”

“Certainly,” Allura said, “although I’m not doing anything exciting. Just reading old reports.”

“That’s fine,” Keith said as Lance dared to sneak a peek around the corner. 

As he saw Keith take the seat next to Allura, he gave a triumphant grin. “I swear, this couldn’t be made easier.”

“Lance, what are you doing?”

Lance slapped a hand over his mouth to keep from yelping as he twirled and to his horror found Shiro standing there with a confused frown.

“Shiro?” Lance whispered. _Crud, this could ruin everything._ “I thought you were with Pidge and Hunk.”

“I was, but then Coran told me Allura was back and I need to speak with her,” Shiro said he stepped forward.

Lance swiftly blocked his way and placed his hands on his chest. “No, sorry, but she’s talking with Keith right now.”

Shiro blinked. “Keith’s in there too?”

Lance gave a sigh of relief. “Yeah, they are.”

“Good, I actually have to talk to him too,” Shiro said and went to move again, but Lance still blocked him.

“No, Shiro, please for the love of - just don’t go in there,” he softly pleaded and praying Allura and Keith couldn’t hear him. “Just leave them alone for a bit.”

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because if we don’t let Keith do this now, he’s going to lose his nerves and I’m going to have to sit and suffer!” He shot Shiro a look as he grabbed his shirt. “Do you want to see me suffer, Shiro? Huh? Do you?!”

Shiro gave him a skeptic look. “Lance, what exactly is going on?”

Lance sighed. “Please, just sit and wait a few minutes, okay?”

“Um...alright,” Shiro said, “but I’m hoping there’s a logical explanation for this.”

“There is, trust me,” Lance whispered as he went back to peeking around the corner. “Just sit and watch.”

Shiro seemed doubtful, but did as Lance asked him. Keith had barely moved an inch since he took a seat and was fidgeting a lot.

“What is wrong with Keith?” Shiro asked. “And why are we spying-”

Lance shushed him. “Just be quiet and watch the magic.”

Keith cleared his throat as he scooted an inch closer. “Um...Allura...about your um hair..”

The princess glanced up and frowned. “Yes, what about it?”

Keith took a deep breath as he moved closer. “Your hair is umm...like a cloudy dream.”

Allura blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

Keith blushed. “Wait, no, I mean..um...your eyes would melt...ice?”

Allura tilted her head in confusion as Lance silently banged his head against the doorway.

“I don’t believe it,” he grumbled.

Shiro frowned and then his eyes widened. “Wait...is Keith...flirting?”

Lance said nothing as he sighed.

Keith shook his head. “No, no, um, what I meant to say is that your smile could make a sunrise!”

“What?” Allura asked with a raised eyebrow. “Keith, what are you talking about?”

“Arrgh, I don’t know,” Keith said as he buried his face into his hands. “Man, I do suck at this.”

“Nnnooo kidding,” Lance grumbled.

Allura frowned, but then it appeared to have dawned on her what Keith was doing. “Are you to flirt with me?”

Keith still had his blush as he looked up. “Yeah...maybe a bit.”

Allura covered her mouth with her hands as she giggled, but it swiftly evolved into laughter.

“Ooh, Keith,” she laughed. “You are not much of a flirt.” 

“I know, I know,” Keith grumbled as he buried his face into his hands. “I suck at this.”

“Maybe,” Allura said as she reached for him and lifted his head to he was facing him. “But it is very you.”

Lance regain a spark of hope as he raised his head and saw that Allura was truly smiling. However, Keith being the total dork he was, stared wide eyed with a look of confusion on his face.

“Um...is that a good thing or bad thing?” he asked.

Allura laughed. “It’s cute.”

“That doesn’t answer my question,” Keith replied.

At this point, Lance sighed as he ducked back and leaned against the wall. “Not what I expected,” he muttered. “But, it will do.”

Shiro continued to snicker as he moved closer to Lance. “So, can I assume you tried to teach Keith to flirt?”

“Yes, and he’s clearly a terrible student,” Lance retorted as he rubbed his eyes.

“I could have told you that,” Shiro said with a laugh and then gave a fond smile as he patted Lance’s shoulder. “Still, it was nice of you to help him. I know you did have a crush on Allura.”

Lance gave a shrug. “It’s not like Allura and I actually dated or anything, and it’s more important that they're happy.”

Shiro kept his smile as he wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “I can talk to Keith and Allura later. So, how about we leave the lovebirds be and we go play one of your video games?”

Lance gave a smirk as he let Shiro lead the way. “Sure, but don’t feel bad when I kick your butt on the final level.”

“Sure thing, buddy,” Shiro said as they walked down the hall. 

As they walked, Lance was certain he could hear laughter coming from the room behind them, and could only sag in relief. Maybe there was still hope for that idiot.


End file.
